PEGGY FIELDING'S NEWSLETTER
Volume 9 Number 4 April and May 2009

HOWDY READERS, GO TO THE ARCHIVES

Apologies for lateness! The OWFI Conference is my excuse. Now, when you go to the archives you get to see my old adventures from months and years past and you also get to see the geegaws my webmaster inserts for this month. Press in www.peggyfielding.com as usual.

YEP. I LOST THE BATTLE.

My Kendall-Whittier post office closed and I have been to my new post office three times...hideous trips each and every time, although I did find a parking place each time. It is the 14 mile walking trip (or at least it feels that long) from the door to Box 50347, that wears me out.) One of Joe Casey's big sons (he is 6'3") has been helping me with a walker that has all the amenities on it, including a drink holder. Joe sent him with it. Maybe that will help make my post office trips easier to bear.

And yes, that is the same Joe Casey who appears as my lover in the novella, "Giving Up Pantyhose," in Chik~Lit for Foxy Hens.

Jackie King, my Red Hen writing partner, and I have been surprised many times to find that our first Foxy Hen book is almost always the most popular seller on the table when we are having speaking and signing engagements. I suppose that's because divorce and widowhood are so universal.

We are eagerly awaiting our most recent tome, Two Foxy Holiday Hens and One Big Rooster, which will be out in June. Our big rooster, Dusty Richards, is not doing so well, physically. He is attending the doctor about once a week these days. No one seems to know what is wrong with him. I saw him in Norman at the OWFI conference and his hands and feet were swollen to twice their normal size. He was wearing sandals...and he always wears cowboy boots. He still wore his cowboy hat so guess his head isn't swollen...But our heads are swollen because he agreed to join us with what he calls, "That poultry book."

A LIST I SENT AROUND TO MY ROMANCE GROUP

Some of the RWI ladies in Tulsa, laughed, I think. Hope it makes you, my newsletter readers, smile as well.

AMUSING WAYS TO SKYROCKET YOUR BOOK TO BEST SELLERDOM

The ideas I'm offering require cleverness rather than money. Any of these suggestions should serve you well. Go for it!

1. Find a way to have your book banned. Even nonreaders will buy (and read) a book which has been banned.
2. Put something into your book and/or publicity about your book, that will cause death threats to be thrown your way. Of course, be sure those threats are widely reported to the F.B.I., police, newspapers, magazines, TV and radio stations.
3. Lose weight, bleach to blonde, then marry a very rich, really old man. Think of that...a literate, book writing, blonde, "trophy wife."
4. Become the star of a movie or TV show or even try for "has been" status from some show, then you can get on "Dancing With The Stars." You and your book will be sure winners, there.
5. Allow yourself to be elected or appointed to an important political position, perhaps Governor of Alaska?
6. Marry a famous athlete while he/she is still playing well.
7. Fool around with Bill Clinton. He and his sexual proclivities are still international news. I love Hilary, but I'm sure they have a private arrangement allowing each freedom to do his/her thing. (The man still has it so far as I am concerned. I’d be thrilled to see him enter my front door, never mind publicizing my new book. Even it not one copy of my book sold, Bill would still be a prize, so far as I can tell from here.)
8. Have eight babies at one whack. Oh, wait! That has been done. Better have nine. Balance your book on your big baby bump for picture takings.
9. Become Lindsey Lohan's new "best friend." For sure you (and your book) will be constantly newsworthy. Hold a copy of your book to cover your face when the paparazzi photographs you.
10. Write something in your book that will enrage the headman of one of our many religious groups... the Pope, Islamic guru, President of the Southern Baptist Convention, Bishop of the Episcopalians, etc. Maybe that leader's rage would bring about your highly desired "banning."

I’ve written nonfiction books, novellas and romances. My most recent mystery romance novel is called Scoundrels' Bargain. It hasn't been banned or burned. Shoot.

OWFI CONFERENCE

The Oklahoma Writers Conference held in Norman was a huge success. Everyone I met seemed to like my "sweet little old lady look." Men and women whom I have known for 35 years told me I looked "pretty." Hey, hey.

Jackie's new mystery, The Inconvenient Corpse, was a good seller at the conference.

BRAG

I ate breakfast with Tess Gerritsen. Her books scare me but in person she is not at all frightening. She gave one of the best speeches about writing that I have ever heard… and I have heard a million of them

Another coupe was Romney Nesbitt's pitch to the inspirational editor who gave Rom the go-ahead to send her book along. Rom's book is the first of a series about a woman preacher. I can't wait to read the whole book. I have seen the first chapter or two. Rev. Rom is pretty creative with fiction as well as nonfiction I'd say.

SEX?

I held Dusty's swollen hand a lot. Does that count?

SEE YOU IN JUNE, DEAR READERS

Love Peggy Lou Moss Kirk Fielding
or Ms Poopoo if you prefer